parents...

So I promise that (unless there's a very good reason for it) my next blog post will actually be about something other than feminism, but since Diana Walker's answer to my question about it is the main thing that stuck with me from her presentation this post will continue the theme from my last one. Mrs. Walker spoke about the unequal relationship of her parents as one of the motivations for the development of her feminism. Her answer caused me to reflect on how my own parents have influenced my interest in feminism and the fact that I identify as a feminist.

Neither of my parents really identify as feminists, particularly not my fairly apolitical mother (my father might if pressed, but like many people of both genders is unfortunately rather uncomfortable with the term "feminist") and yet when I reflect on my own feminism my experiences observing them as I grew up is a major factor. My mother is not a traditionally feminine woman; her favorite hobby is mountain hiking and other outdoor activities, she doesn't care very much about personal appearance and what people think of her, and she tends to be uncomfortable showing emotion. My father, meanwhile, is the guy in his office who always remembers to send birthday cards and get well cards to coworkers, attends funerals for people he doesn't know that well, and in general is in many ways a stereotypically "nurturing" person.

Despite these personality differences, my mother was still the one who stayed home when I was born (Slight digression: I realize that the fact that even one parent could stay home reflects the fact that I do have some degree of what feminist and other progressive blogs refer to as "class privilege" although that fact my family also doesn't have a strong network of relatives who could help with childcare living nearby made any other option rather difficult) mainly for economic reasons but probably also for social ones. My father's job paid significantly more so him being the one to stay home was never really an option (He has a MA while my mother only has a BA, which I think may be partly due to my mother's parents having attitudes similar to Mrs. Walker's father towards her education) although the fact that aren't very many stay at home fathers (and there were less in the early 90s) also made a difference. My mother was never particularly happy at home, and during the period that I was young my father wasn't very happy with his worklife. I think in an ideal world they would have each been able to take six months paid leave and then both work part time for a while (many European countries actually have systems similar to this.) Working to make it easier for parents to balance career and family and fighting the notion that it is the mother who should always do the majority of childcare and housework are important feminist goals. I know the details of how to do this are complex, and one reason why I'm minoring in women's and gender studies is to get a more thorough understanding.

I thought about how all of this is linked to what Mrs. Walker said, and how the goals of feminism today compare to those of her generation. We have obviously made huge strides since the time when her mother was put on an allowance. Still, it seems like society still has a long way to go in being accepting of non-traditional male and female roles, as I have seen watching the experiences of my parents while I was growing up. Now that I think about it, my parent's personalities and relationship with each other influenced all of my identity, not just my feminism. Everyone's parents do, of course, but it's not always something that I think much about...