Last Reflection

I can't believe I'm almost 1/8 done with college already. This first semester has been interesting, and I'd say overall a success. College has been different then I thought in a lot of ways. I was quite anxious about the academic side of college going in. In High School I had pretty bad procrastination issues and on occasion I would actually hand in assignments late or not at all. Because I generally test well, I sometimes didn't do work because I knew I could do well in the class anyway. I was really worried about how this would effect me in college. It turns out that college has been really good for me academically.

I've been a prolific reader since I was young, so I like that a lot of college work is reading assignments. I've also found that, while it made me anxious at first, having a few assignments that are worth a lot of points is better then a lot of assignments worth less because I know I have to get them done and hand them in on time- I can't just count on doing well on other assignments or tests so I can get a good grade anyway. Living with other people has also helped me develop a better work ethic. Just like in high school my closest friends seem to be people with strong work ethics, but it's different actually living with them and seeing them studying and planning their schedules. So far (in all of my classes except math which is unfortunately kind of a joke...half the class doesn't even show up) I have handed in all my assignments on time and studied for all my tests, and as a result I've gotten As on about three-quarters of my tests and assignments. I'm very proud of what I've been able to accomplish academically.

Socially college has definitely been different then I expected. I came in with this idea that college would be non-stop party drinking time, which made me a bit nervous. I decided that maybe I would occasionally do some partying on weekends but not constantly like I thought most people did. While some of my friends on south side would disagree, I've actually found that there's a lot less of that sort of thing then I expected, and occasionally doing some partying on weekends is actually what a lot of people seem to do...this semester I haven't even done really done that, instead watching movies with people, just talking, or more recently going to anime club. On the other hand, I also came with the idea that it would be really easy to make friends in college and that I would get kind of blank slate with people who hadn't known me since sixth grade or so. I found it more difficult to find friends then I expected, which made me upset around the middle of the semester but I think things are looking up somewhat in that regard and I may just have to accept that I'm never going to be the hyper-social person surrounded by a crowd of friends, because that's just not who I am.

The thing is, reaching that conclusion only makes me more confused about my choice of major and especially career. I was hoping that I could become a more extroverted person and therefore political science would be a more logical choice for me. Now that I'm starting to accept that (while I might be able to learn to be more comfortable in social situations) I'm naturally an introvert and that's probably not changing I'm really not sure what my career should be. I'm not good at math and science, which tend to lead into more typical introvert careers. I think I'm interested in academia but I know that is a very difficult field. I also think I want to work for a non-profit organization but that just doesn't seem like a permanent career to me. Basically I'm leaving the first semester of college just as confused about what I want to do as when I came in. I can only take comfort in the fact that hopefully my undergrad choice of major doesn't matter that much.

Finally, I think I'm glad I participated in the University College program. Having a class with people who lived with me provided a really sense of stability in a sometimes confusing time in my life. That said, in retrospect a different UC might have been more appropriate for me personally. I realize now that since I like structure a class such as Individual Freedom vs. Authority (which I am taking as a regular class next semester) with a more specific topic might have been more fitting.