On funerals...

I have somehow managed to go through eighteen years of life without ever personally attending a funeral, which makes this question a little bit difficult for me. That said, I feel that Goffman's view of funerals is, characteristically, overly cynical. Maybe it is because I grew up in a household where everyone tended to be honest about their feelings and intentions, but I don't share Goffman's opinion that everyone is performing and putting up a "front" whenever they are dealing with other people. While I'm sure that a certain percentage of the population behaves this way constantly, and almost everyone at least occasionally, I hope that it's not overly idealistic to believe that most people are generally honest.

In the case of a funeral, some degree of dishonesty (pretending to be more upset than one actually is) is acceptable and probably even a good idea, but I would think that unless one actively disliked the deceased person the general atmosphere of morning would generate fairly organic feelings of grief even if one was relatively indifferent to the person when he or she was alive. Additionally, if one is friendly with any of the family members or close friends of the deceased, they should at least be grieved to see their friends in pain.

Considering this, I'd have to conclude that Goffman's view of funerals was in fact somewhat disrespectful. While funerals obviously don't matter that much to the deceased person, they are often very important to their loved ones and can be a part of the healing process (or so I've been told.) Viewing funerals as just another cynical performance does seem to detract from the deep meaning that they have for many people.